Learning to drive in America is simple. 

Step 1: Acquire a vehicle. 

Step 2: Enter that vehicle. 

Step 3: Proceed to fake your way into becoming the first ‘walk on’ Fast and Furious cast member by having complete disregard for the safety of every human being around you, while going 20mph over the speed limit. 

If you didn’t have parents who could teach you how to drive, the role models in your life that showed you the ropes of road safety were Dominic Toretto, Lightning McQueen, and the Ghost Rider. So objectively, you’re driving much safer than those dudes ever did. However, despite the copious amount of parking and speeding tickets, you refuse to actually study the material in the driving test. In fact, it seems as if you chose all of your answers on the DMW multiple choice test just by gut instincts. If it seems right, you can probably get a 60% passing grade on the written test, then you just hope that your instructor on the day of the actual driving test is partially blind and senile.