4 Movies That Didn’t Realize They Ruined Humanity

Everybody loves Spider-Man and Bill & Ted and also Casper exist, but even such beloved characters as these will make decisions so terrible they potentially doom the entire planet and all of humanity. You just might not always notice right away. Thankfully «Doctor» Jordan Breeding noticed, and he and Your Brain On Cracked are here …
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5 Incompetent Characters Who Make Superhero Plots Possible

Superhero movies like Spider-Man, Batman, Wonder Woman, and a million others only really work if a bunch of morons in the background bumble around and do their jobs poorly. Alleged «Doctor» Jordan Breeding and Your Brain On Cracked return to point at morons and make fun of them. Like a superhero would.

3 Fictional Universes Where The Money Makes No Sense

In the real world, most trade policies and financial systems are built by economists or businessmen or dudes on r/wallstreetbets who have some sort of training or expertise in that area. In movies like Star Wars, Harry Potter, and John Wick, it’s all designed by people who mostly have training in explosions and expertise in …
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5 (Secretly) Depressing Famous Movies

Movies are really fun as long as you don’t stop and smell the civilian casualties or take stock of how many fish Aquaman sends to their deaths or how many people Spider-Man lets get obliterated by a crane or how Ready Player One’s Wade Watts is even less cool than we think. «Doctor» Jordan Breeding …
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4 Weird Superhero Tropes Movies Won’t Stop Recycling

Superhero movies are here to stay and so, apparently, are their super strange tropes like superwomen smiling after being punched, «serious» superhero films taking place in insane asylums, and longing for some romance always leading to a loss of superpowers. «Doctor» Jordan Breeding is technically out this week, but thankfully The Incredible Spider-Professor Angry Hands …
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Video: 4 Teenage Movie Tropes Based On Nothing

Presumably, every single writer in Hollywood was at some point in time a teenager. At the very least, they probably inject themselves with teenage blood in order to keep their organs strong and their skin moist. So how in the world do they know nothing about them? Thankfully, «Doctor» Jordan Breeding is oft accused of …
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4 Film Couples Who Are Way Nastier Than You Realized

Did Obi-Wan WANT Padme and Anakin to get together in Star Wars? Was John Connor encouraging Kyle Reese to get with his mom in Terminator? Should Passengers have given Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence an entirely different ending? «Doctor» Jordan Breeding slips into something a bit more comfortable to take a deeply embarrassing look at …
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