Portland is a special place, revered by its inhabitance for its weirdness, progressive nature, and heinous weather. However, Portland is very protective of heir oddities, forcing their ideals on others and hating on outsiders that «don’t get it». As you peel back the layers of the Portland onion and you dive deeper into the alternative, the more you’ll find yourself hating corporations, drinking black coffee, contemplating body modifications, and refusing to consume foods that weren’t raised on a farm. However, to a real Portland native, you’ll never be one of them. You’ll never cleanse your molotov bombs with burning sage before joining a raid in town square and you’ll never ride a bicycle without any clothes on. You’ll never really «get it»– especially if you’re from that dreaded place down south, you might have heard of it? California.