I consider myself something of a food experimentalist. That, or I’m just lazy and a bit weird. Whenever I’m making a meal for myself, it rarely fits the guidelines of what qualifies as a meal for others. Sometimes I eat in courses (a couple of raw cucumbers, a handful of pecans, a whole bag of microwave popcorn, and then half a thing of leftover pad thai. Sometimes I just throw everything from the fridge into a stir-fry (get that wilted celery in there, I don’t care.) And then sometimes I experiment with flavor combinations. Some are delicious and not that weird (peanut butter and tortilla chips) and some skew a little gross (hard-boiled egg and oatmeal). But hey, nobody has to eat it but me. 

There’s beauty in weird food combinations, and the following list exploits that to its most horrifying ends. I hope we don’t see these on the shelves any time soon.