40+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (March 30, 2024)

Tweet it once, shame on you for assuming I’ll read it. Tweet it twice, shame on me for not noticing you stole it. Tweet it and delete it, shame on all of us. The tweet and delete is a tried and true tactic of cowards the world over. You want to get something off your chest, and you quickly do, but then you realize it’s too vulnerable and you delete it. I’ve done it, you’ve done it, none of us are proud of it. Since in the end, there is the undeniable power of screenshots. If your followers’ fingers are quick enough, your little dalliance (be it gossip, be it a joke that flopped, be a confession that got a little too real) is cemented forever. 

I think we should stand by that which we tweet. I’m looking at you, public figures with regrettable pasts. Don’t hide, leave them up. We’d like to see the real you. But in the meantime, I’ll be looking at these fresh, not-regrettable tweets. 

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