New York: it might be the city of dreams, but that doesn’t mean that all of them should be made reality. A few nights I had a dream that I got judgmental looks on a bus for being the only passenger who wasn’t breastfeeding. Do I have any desire to recreate this in real life? Hell no. 

Arguably, becoming a singer is a more realistic Big Apple dream than being the odd one out on the breastfeeding bus. Nonetheless, there are a lot of wannabe musicians out there who should probably consider another career, and stop doing cringey public performances for native New Yorkers to sneer at. Few things top the agony of being trapped in a subway car with a nonconsensual live show going on inside it.

A place like Times Square is an overstimulating nightmare without yet another person adding to the racket, but that’s exactly what one performer did for the sake of social media virality recently. Sean Stephens is a Canadian business owner and singer who traveled to New York to promote his song, and boy, is it nonsensical. It’s no shock that the people of Twitter were on hand to make witty remarks about its shape-based lyrics. It’s pretty catchy, I’ll give it that.