Do I believe in Bigfoot? The real question is, does Bigfoot believe in himself? This creature is world famous. He’s been a national phenomenon since the 70s. An entire section in my elementary school’s library was devoted to him. He should be on Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon and all those Jimmy shows, but he’s too much of a coward to show his face. 

I don’t want to be too hard on Bigfoot. It must not be easy to live up to all of those documentaries. He’s also got a good reason to fear Bigfoot hunters. For the longest time, I thought people wanted to find Bigfoot to put him in a zoo instead of hunting him for sport. I guess that’s a fine enough reason to stay in hiding. Bigfoot, if you’re reading this, you stay in the annals of the Pacific Northwest as long as you need, baby. We’ll be here for you when you’re ready.