Social media is awash with dating advice. Things like how to make sure your date always pays for you, or how to know he isn’t pretending about really liking you. How to not drag out the talking stage, but also not rush into meeting up with someone you don’t know that well. 

Almost all of this guidance boils down to one thing: people don’t want to get hurt. Unfortunately, relationships don’t work like that. This is especially true when they’re romantic, because most of us have some messed up ideas about the love that we’re supposed to aspire to.

Nowhere is this more apparent than on the dating apps, where singles (and some who are already in relationships) hash out their bad points and insecurities for the entire world to see. It isn’t shameful to be on Tinder, but you can make it that way if you’re not careful. Many of the examples below illustrate that.