I have a humble brag I’d like to share with y’all: I have never been fired (knock on wood). I don’t think I have never been fired because I’m particularly special, but most of my work history is made up of service jobs that are desperate for anyone with even a smudge of social skills. These places would only fire you if you really screwed up, and even then, you could probably get off with a warning. 

Usually, people start slacking or acting up on the job when they feel secure that they’re not going to get fired. You’d have to be one carless Carson if you were to get fired during the first month of your job. Sure, someone who was unqualified for the job might get fired under those circumstances, but I know you’re not here for those stories. You want to hear tales of fools losing their jobs, and you’re in luck.