For those whose New Year’s resolutions involved having more patience with your family, then I have a question for you: how is that going? That’s what I thought. You gave it an honest try for a couple of hours, then your kid broke your favorite ornament as you were taking down the tree and now you’re back to square one.

The cold light of January is hard to face. There are no more endless streams of cookies and booze (you can tell how I spent my holiday), and the crawl back to normal life is cold and unforgiving. Especially if you’re a parent. All that time you told yourself you were going to have in January to self-improve? Oh, sorry, you probably couldn’t hear me over the sound of your kids screaming that their new toy needs batteries. I’ll let you get back to it. Here are some tweets for your troubles.