As I sit here on an Amtrak train to Providence, Rhode Island, I feel as though I am slowly losing my mind. And it’s my own fault because I let my headphones die before a long trip. Now, with my ears fully open and exposed to the shudder-worthy sounds of reality, I am paying the price. To my left is a woman who appears to be from Long Island, furiously filing her nails as though we’re in the bathroom adjacent to her gaudy master bedroom. She’s been going at it for thirty minutes, with no signs of stopping. I’m surprised there’s anything left for her to file. 

From behind me, I get to hear the vapid, valley-girl speech of some friends who won’t stop talking about all the weddings they’re going to. I would sympathize with them if they were complaining about the weddings (I’m going to 3 over the next 6 months), but they’re just…excited. Annoying. Honestly, I’m not usually this misanthropic, but Aunt Flo made her appearance today and everything is pissing me off. And without headphones, I’m left to cope by seeking distractions like memes. So here are some memes that I’m desperately using to distract myself from other humans and their public nail filing antics.