I am not a massive fan of the British Royal Family. As an American, I feel it is my duty not to form parasocial bonds with the symbolic leaders of the nation where I reside. In my country’s case, those leaders are none other than the Kardashians, whom I feel pretty ambivalent towards.

Though I don’t care much about the royals, I pay attention when they have drama. You bet your button I watched the Harry and Megan Oprah interview live on TV, not because I feel particularly strongly about their struggles, but because I needed to hear the dirt. 

Future Queen of England Kate Middleton has not been seen in public since Christmas, and her disappearance from public life has spawned loads of conspiracy theories. While the Palace claims she recently had abdominal surgery and might be in recovery until Easter, Twitter has much more interesting theories regarding her disappearance.