Charcuterie platters are an exceptionally fun way to consume food. The bottom half of my personal food pyramid is already primarily occupied by classic items on the average charcuterie board: crackers, cheese, grapes, and pickles. Slicing all of these foods up into tiny portions and consuming them communally just makes the foods themselves taste even better. However, I have recently heard of a shake up in the world of charcuterie plates. Allegedly, according to rumors, there are now charcuterie boards that are made up of bread and different flavors of cream cheese. Now this, I cannot stand by. Regular charcuterie boards and clean and dainty, and this re-visioning of them sounds like a big old mess. I do not want to have to drag my poor slice of bread across a wooden board filled with different cream cheese flavors, hoping the streams don’t cross. This is the hill I’m officially willing to die on.