As a thirty-something «young» professional, I’ve been to a lot of weddings lately. And they’ve been absolutely lovely. Many of the couples wrote their own vows, some in English, some in Spanish, and some of the wedding vows were sweetly translated into both. What if, instead of creative vows, or the classic ‘til death do us part,’ the couple said the following:

«For as long as this feels healthy, safe, and meaningful for both of us.»

Well, it would be weird. And you’d wonder why you were signing a check for $300 to celebrate their decision to get married in front of a group of loved ones. A couple of days ago, on Twitter, psychologist Emily Anhart suggested that people getting married should say those exact words instead of «til death do us part,» and it was not received well. To me, it feels like another precious way to absolve people of guilt, the way the act of behaving like a good friend (by listening and being present) is now perceived as emotional labor. An avoidance of commitment. And many people on Twitter were inclined to agree. Many critics feel the sentiment behind the vows just makes it feel like you’re intent is to be eternally dating. While that could be fun in a certain light, it’s definitely not the solid, unconditional loyalty that feels synonymous with a marriage. 

Because we love a debate as much as we love discourse about marriage, we had to collect some of the choicest reactions ahead of the tweet’s inevitable deletion. What do you think? Do these vows make a joke of marriage, or are they actually onto something?