Imagine if Frodo Baggins had politely declined to do a damn thing about the One Ring. In an alternate LOTR universe where Frodo decides that the whole ring-bearing business is just too much of a hassle, he would simply shrug his shoulders at Gandalf and declare, «Nah, I’m good,» leaving the fate of Middle Earth up to anyone but him. Without Frodo and the Fellowship embarking on the treacherous journey to Mordor, the Ring would remain in the hands of the Shire’s most oblivious hobbits. Bagginses would break into Bilbo’s home and steal the ring, not to use for good or evil, but to simply impress the other townsfolk at the pub and use it as a party trick from time to time. Meanwhile, Sauron would give up trying to find the ring, never considering the possibility that it could still be in the Shire. With the One Ring relegated to parlor trick status, all the realms of Middle Earth would remain blissfully ignorant to the death and destruction they might have faced. The Shire would eventually become the ultimate party destination—the Ibiza of Middle Earth, if you will. Orcs and Nazgûl would find themselves unemployed, left to take up innocuous hobbies like welding or starting metal bands. In this alternate reality, maybe Middle Earth would become a place of perpetual celebration, with no looming darkness or years-long wars.

There I go letting my imagination go off again. If you’re into real Lord of the Rings lore that I didn’t just randomly make up, you’re just in time for this week’s funniest LOTR memes.