Hooligan kids can cause a ruckus in a neighborhood, but when kids are just being kids, does it really harm anything? For one man in Cape May, New Jersey, his local kiddos went way too far when they «vandalized» his driveway with… water. If anyone is familiar with NextDoor, they know there are a lot of whistleblowers, Walmart-brand vigilantes, and self-entitled neighborhood watchers, but John Peterson is one local man who takes the cake when it comes to paranoia.

After being heckled by a local biker gang (specifically a group of bicycle kids listening to loud music), John was belittled even further when the kids ran onto his property and wrote on the ground with a water bottle one word that simply sent him over the edge: BALD. In classic Boomer fashion, John immediately ran inside, called the police, then hopped on NextDoor to create an account so that he could warn the neighborhood about the dangerously rude children running rampant all over town. Scroll for the full story and the hilarious comments that ensued after John decided to play town-vigilante against some normal kids.