One of the most critical decisions in pet ownership is choosing your pet’s name. If you give your dog a silly dog name like «David,» it will likely not affect the dog psychologically, but it will make you have to have the same conversation repeatedly about your dog having a human name. As a former dog bakery employee, I have two pet peeves with pet names: on-the-nose food names and luxury car names. If your dog is named «Bentley,» I will judge your moral character. If you have a white rabbit named «Vanilla,» I will assume you have not exercised your creativity in some time. I know I might be throwing stones in glass houses (My childhood dog was named Bear, one of the most basic of all dog names), but if judging bad dog names is wrong, I don’t want to be right. If you name your pets good and righteous things, these animal memes will align with your values.