Everyone has a past. When we meet someone new, we trust that if they are honest, they will bring their full self to the occasion. We trust that the skeletons in their closet, if any, are theirs to own. Meeting someone in adulthood means meeting them with many years and maybe lifetimes behind them. They have lived many experiences that have helped them become the person they’re introducing themselves as to us, many of which we may never learn about. We have a social pact to meet people where they are, and in return, we hope they will meet us in the same way.

When something from someone’s past bubbles up, it can be a challenge to overcome. If they don’t address it, or if it reveals itself to you in a way that feels dishonest, the person we thought we knew can become a stranger. There’s a chance that the person who made these past mistakes has grown and changed since then, but sometimes the deceit is too much to bear. One woman dealt with that when some things her fiancee said about her in the early stages of their dating came to light. Read on to decide if what he said was a relationship-ended offense.