Ah, to work in corporate. There is a reason it is infamous for sucking your soul out of your body and leaving you helpless against its strong pull. Sometimes you will see people crying in their cars in the parking lot before they enter the building. Everyone pretends that they aren’t watching everybody else — there is no place to hide. You will run into many people who are 100% willing to throw you off a bridge so they can get ahead.

Don’t trust anyone. Nobody is your friend. HR does not exist for the employee’s benefit — rather, it is there to protect the company from its workers. Learn to embrace the color beige… and avoid whoever smiles, as it is too late for them — they have gone insane. 

In all seriousness though, some people are perfectly okay being a cog in a big team, sitting in endless meetings — while others are not. It all depends on your personality. Heck, corporate has really gained a bad reputation but there are always gonna be people who actually enjoy their jobs. Probably not the ones who would click on this article, but still. They exist, we’re sure of it. 

Scroll down for some of the best and most relatable tweets we’ve found on the bird app this week, that are made for the corporate guys and gals. And one actual, real-life tip? GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING.

While we’re on the topic of contracts, check out this college student who was nearly forced to sign an agreement that frankly, she had never agreed to before taking the class. She got some pretty petty revenge though.