Once upon a time, I stayed over at a friend’s house for a while. Since I’d last visited, my friend had been given a hamster. His name was Disco Britney (a portmanteau of Disco Stu and Free Britney). My friend could sometimes be moved to tears just speaking about him; he was, by all accounts, a great little guy.
Needless to say, I looked forward to meeting this most eminent rodent. However, it seemed like I might not get the chance. The entire time I stayed, I never once saw his adorable, furry face peek out from one of the many hidey holes in his cage. I resigned myself to the fact that I was having an encounter with Schrodinger’s hamster.
The morning I left to go home, I woke up in bed to a mysterious, metallic clanging noise. I looked across to the shelf where Disco Britney lived. Reader, he was using the metal grill on the roof of his cage as his own personal monkey bars. A creature that was small enough to step on officially had more upper body strength than me.
What’s the point of this story? Well, imagine this visual, except it’s a human being you’re gawking at, and they’re on public transport. This was something experienced by @wetspaghetti7, whose ride on the London Underground was made significantly spicier by a fellow passenger quite literally climbing the walls. Her video of the occurrence quickly went viral, and no-one else knew what to make of it, either. There’s just something about going on the subway that appears to activate some people’s Goblin Mode.