It’s rough out there, y’all. And by «out there» I mean the online dating landscape. It’s funny that as meeting new people has become easier (with the help of apps like Tinder and Hinge), it’s also gotten harder. While in the old days of Okcupid I was able to message a normal guy, and then meet him for a fun date, nowadays it seems like there are just four trajectories: 

Option 1) Play pen pals for a couple of weeks and then get unmatched for some unknown reason. 

Option 2) Meet up for a casual drink and field attempts to get laid 

Option 3) Get berated for not providing the «correct» response to a message or expressing contempt at receiving a picture of a penis

Option 4) Deafening post-match silence.

And even those three options are rare. Mostly we’re just swiping aimlessly, waiting for a gem of a profile to present itself. A glimmer of hope. 

While we know the trials and tribulations of dating on the Internet can be painful, we just can’t help but laugh at some of the messages, profiles, tactics, and even dating-related posts that we come across in the wilds of the world wide web. We’ve collected the worst offenders this week. Consider them cautionary tales.