Centibillionaire Jeff Bezos made history today with his his Blue Origin rocket launch—the first all-civilian trip to space. The tycoon of, well, pretty much every industry can now add ‘commercial astronaut’ to his resume. As Bezos looked down on us plebs from the edge of space, the reaction on the ground was not exactly celebratory. Critics of the Amazon founder took the opportunity to write off Bezos’ space endeavor as an irresponsible use of the wealth he’s extracted from underpaid laborers and unpaid income tax. On top of the usual criticism of Amazon’s employment practices and the fact that Bezos got even richer through the pandemic while millions literally died, the notorious magnate has been under fire since ProPublica released an exposé on how the world’s wealthiest avoid paying their fair share of taxes. Even if you’re a big proponent of commercial space travel, you have to admit it’s hard to make people care about billionaires in space when there are millions of ordinary people still breaking their backs every day to make ends meet.
Within minutes of the launch, Twitter was comparing Blue Origin to Dr. Evil’s penis-shaped rocket in Austin Powers. Others likened Bezos’ phallic spacecraft to Flesh Gordon’s cartoonish ship. Even former presidential candidate Tulsi Gabbard chimed in with some spicy comments, urging the new astronaut to ‘do the world a favor’ and ‘stay up there.’ There were, of course, plenty of billionaire bootlickers defending Bezos’ honor in the replies, but we’re not including that side of the story in this collection of roasts because they’re just not as funny. What’s the harm in punching up, anyway? Here’s some of the spicy things people were saying before and after the launch.