Who doesn’t love a classic bait-and-switch? You’re promised a chill, no-pressure hangout, only to find out the real plan involves draining your bank account and signing away your dignity. Think of it like running into an old friend who chirps, «Let’s do lunch!»—and then you show up to a 12-course tasting menu with paired wines at the very reasonable price of $399.99. Surprise! You thought lunch meant salads; they meant financing their Michelin-star midlife crisis.

This bridesmaid saga has exactly the same energy. Sister-in-law floats the idea of bonding like it’s a breezy coffee date. Casual, my foot—this is the financial equivalent of agreeing to water a plant and being handed custody of a rainforest.