At one time or another, many of us have put too much time and energy into pursuing a crush. For the romantically inclined, it’s practically a rite of passage: you memorize where your potential beau likes to sit in the lunch hall, or start listening to music you don’t really like just because they’re into it. It’s a fine balance between infatuation and obsession. While we don’t like to hear it, we often don’t get the payoff of a happily ever after, either. 

Still, people continue to chase after their crushes with all the dedication of a creature that has evolved to make babies and die before the age of 40. This has been brought into focus by a recent TikTok trend in which women have shared all the things they did to get into a relationship with their boyfriend. Their efforts received a mixed reaction when they hit Twitter, not least because some of them were very intense. Is doing this much OK, or even really worth it?