Money is one of the most important things to agree on in a serious relationship. It doesn’t matter how you feel about one another otherwise; if you can’t get on the same page about how you are going to manage your finances together, you are setting yourselves up to fail. A big part of building a life together is knowing that both of you can afford it.

However, that doesn’t stop many couples from having disagreements on how they manage money, and specifically who pays for what. This is easier to figure out in some relationships than others, where partners have similar salaries, or one person is happy to cover most of the expenses. When disparities in incomes and attitudes are involved, though, there can be painful revelations that maybe a love isn’t meant to be after all. A person’s feelings about relationship finances mean a lot more than the bills that need paying.