You can’t be angry at your parents forever. At some point, you either need to accept that they made mistakes and move on, or cut them out of your life because the things they did to you as a child were too bad for forgiveness. Both are totally valid options, and it’s okay to take some time to process exactly what you should do when your parents’ behavior genuinely does negatively affect your life into adulthood. But you can’t be in that limbo forever.

If you are still blaming your parents for your shortcomings when you’re in your 30s and 40s, you need to take initiative, go to therapy, and heal, because otherwise you’re going to be an old person still complaining about how your mom is the reason you’re not where you want to be in life years after she’s long gone.

There are some life circumstances that you can’t totally control, like how old your parents were when they had you and how many siblings you had. Those are the kinds of things you need to accept by the time you’re a grown-up, because there’s nothing that can be done to change them.