You really can’t help someone who refuses to help themself. You can throw as much money as you want at a situation, but it will not address the underlying issues of irresponsibility and dysfunction that lead to the need for extra money in the first place. It’s difficult to accept that you can’t do anything to fix someone else’s problems. It’s really painful to watch someone you love ruin their life, and not be able to do anything about it. But if you’ve already tried to help and they keep finding themself in the same bad situation, you need to know when to step back and let them fail. You can’t be your adult siblings’ or adult children’s keeper, and it helps nobody to keep enabling bad habits that hurt everyone involved. Sometimes a bootstraps mentality can be toxic, but not when you’re drowning because of a history of poor life choices.