There is no perfect way to fire someone. You can put it in all the cushioned language you want, but the truth will remain hard to swallow. Unless they’re actively trying to get fired (à la George Costanza), odds are the person you’re firing would rather stay on than have to find a new job. Finding a new job these days is backbreaking, thankless work. 

That said, there are a few rules you should probably abide by when letting someone go. In many ways, it’s like a breakup, so breakup rules apply. Try to avoid clichés they have heard before (It’s not you, it’s me). Avoid making promises you don’t intend to keep (Let’s be friends, no really I mean it!). Finally, and most importantly, don’t do it over text. Some things in life warrant a phone call, and breakups and firings are two of those things. This employer managed to break all of these rules in one fell swoop. Read on for the details.