This week, ABC released promotional photos for their new version of Beauty and the Beast starring HER, and I could not be more excited. The special’s cast looks so good that it might override how much I hate the Broadway version of Beauty and the Beast. Before you townsfolk get out your pitchforks and form a mob over my bad take, let me explain. 

As a former theatre kid, I saw more high school productions of Beauty and the Beast, the musical, than anyone should legally be allowed to be subjected to. They somehow managed to stretch an 80-minute movie with a simple story into a nearly 3-hour theatrical experience. How did they do such a thing, you might ask? By giving every character a song. Maurice has a song. Gaston has another song. The guy who escorts Maurice to the insane asylum gets a song. I love musicals, but this one has at least five too many songs. Hopefully, ABC will be able to cut down the musical to please me specifically.