Before you come at me with your pitchforks—I do not care if you like the Harry Potter books. I could care less if you dress up as Ron Weasley every year for Halloween and stand in line at the local cinema whenever they screen a marathon of all the movies. By all means, enjoy yourself. But if you’re the type of Potter-obsessed millennial who compares every single thing that happens in real life to a Harry Potter plot line and then tweets about it, I’m sorry, but you’re asking to be roasted.

If you agree that it’s about time the Potterheads read another dang book, keep scrolling.