She’s not their servant.

There’s nothing fun about being a guest at someone else’s house and being expected to cook, clean, and take care of the home as if it’s your own. There are some things you can do to be a good house guest, like bringing a gift for the hosts or helping with the dishes and clean-up after dinner. Those are appropriate things to ask of a guest, but if you make them do those things, cook the meal, and clean the house afterwards, you probably are not fit to host a party.

When you are already taking the time and money to travel to family members’ homes for the holidays, you deserve to feel relaxed while you are there. The family hosting Christmas or Thanksgiving has the luxury of not having to travel, and so they are tasked with doing more of the labor around the holiday. It all comes out in the wash if you’re a normal family who splits up tasks equally among family members and offers help when needed, but when you shackle duties to one family member who is already fed up with the behavior of the rest of the family and desperately needs a break.