When you’re single and hoping to get into a relationship, it’s easy to focus on how difficult it can be to find love. What we forget is that it can be just as hard to maintain it, too. That obnoxiously happy couple who always post cute things on Instagram? You have no idea how much of that is a carefully curated front. For all you know, one of them could be crying themselves to sleep at night while the other one lies on the opposite side of the bed, wondering if they’re a terrible person for wanting to redownload Tinder.

Still, the potential misery of others doesn’t exactly solve any problems of our own. Half the reason so many ill-matched pairings stay together is that they can’t face the brutality of online dating. Your happily ever after might be on the apps somewhere, and your next lay almost definitely is. However, getting to the point where you meet them is not a process for the fainthearted.