Let’s be real: The main reason we all still attend family events is the food. We need to bring home some leftovers because who can be bothered with cooking when there are perfect meals to be taken home from Christmas dinner? Think smarter, not harder.

The rule of thumb in this world? You get what you give. Taking and taking can only work for so long before someone asks for something from you in return, and honestly, it makes sense. How do we exist in the world and benefit from the resources it and the people who live here so graciously give us? Loved ones who make the baked macaroni and cheese, juicy ham, and decadent chocolate cake deserve awards—and a bit of consideration. Would it hurt the stingy people to contribute something—even a bottle of soda—to the family gathering?

The woman who shares this next story feels similarly, which is why she called out her older cousin for continually attending family events empty-handed. Though that’s not the only thing: She treats the dinner spread as her own «personal buffet» and feels guiltless about it. Scroll below to read about what happens when you don’t give and instead, take.