If you can’t stand the heat, maybe don’t cheat in the kitchen—or the workplace, or anywhere else really. It’s a funny thing that people are always shocked when their moral shortcuts turn into road blocks. It’s like they think you can sow betrayal, plant a little backstabbing, and then somehow grow a garden of roses, respect and admiration and somehow skip the whole reaping shame and embarrassment. Hate to break it to you, but if you plant lies, don’t expect to harvest trust.  

Here’s a lesson for everyone: if you make your bed in someone else’s bed, don’t act surprised when it’s uncomfortable to sleep in later. You ruined the pillows, buddy—now lie in them. Or better yet, explain to your stepkid why she’s supposed to play along with your we’re a perfect blended family fantasy when the whole neighborhood knows you blended it with a moral blender set to puree.

Cheaters always think they can skip consequences. They want the happily ever after without dealing with the once-upon-a-dumpster fire. You built this house on quicksand—don’t complain when it’s sinking.