Some people trip over blessings because they’re too busy guarding problems. Here’s a woman whose dad offers to hand her a £400k house after five years of rent. Solid deal, hard to top. Everyone at the table applauds, she’s thrilled, and her partner just stands there as someone offered him a subpoena. By morning, he’s spinning conspiracy theories about being broken up with. The man hears stability and interprets it as abandonment.

We all have insecurities, but this here is almost impressive. Instead of seeing the offer as a shared win, he paints himself as the victim in a story his insecurity wrote five minutes ago. You can’t make this stuff up. She’s trying to build a future, and he’s throwing blame accusations, showing just how fragile his ego is. Slips of the tongue happen. It’s not uncommon, especially during arguments and especially during heated ones. We’re not all debate masters, and we are absolutely not all cold, calculated samurai of discourse. But when your partner exposes he doesn’t want you to do well in life because that means you’ll leave him. Well, that’s not a little red flag waving in the wind, it’s a full-blown, blaring hurricane siren.

Now, all couples disagree and argue, some more, some less, but they all do. It’s part of life, and if you ask me, that’s a good thing that shows that, fortunately, there isn’t anyone out there who is 100% like me. Although I’m not sure even that would help because I argue with myself on a daily basis.

But sometimes, like in this woman’s story, a disagreement isn’t a small crack in the relationship’s hull, it breaks a dam that held so much red flag-colored water it could (and in this case, if you ask me, should) drown the relationship completely.