There’s a huge difference between what constitutes respect in the Northern and Southern United States. When my family moved to Texas, we collectively went through a huge amount of culture shock regarding the term «ma’am.» I hated that I was expected to call every adult woman «ma’am,» and my mom hated that everyone around her suddenly started calling her «ma’am.» There is nothing inherently nefarious about the term, but to my mom, who was a lifelong Midwesterner, it made her feel old. I remember asking my 2nd grade teacher, «May I go to the restroom, please?» And she corrected me, «May I go to the restroom, ma’am.» It was something we had to get used to, even if we didn’t ever actually start using the term. 

The same kind of culture shock can apply when a Southerner moves to New Jersey. The waitress in this story tried to use the tricks that charmed Georgians, but they fell flat at her new job.