‘Family’ means something different for everybody. For some people, family gatherings are loving affairs where everyone is nice and does their own dishes, but for most normal families, gatherings are a war zone and there is no battlefield bigger than Thanksgiving Day. Every third Thursday of the year, people get together to share food, spend quality time with each other, and to gang up on everyone else’s insecurities in an endless, nitpicking, judgement party. 

Your uncle wants to know why you’re still single, Auntie Jill is wondering why you haven’t bought a house yet, and even your sweet old Gammy lowkey burns you by saying «you’d be prettier without all that makeup». Even your cousins get in on the action saying, «you went to that big fancy college, why are you still working at a restaurant?» There’s no winning with these people. Well, this year, take notes, because here are some Thanksgiving comebacks that nobody is recovering from. It sure is a good thing that family is forever.