When you marry someone, you’re also marrying their crazy family. It’s sometimes difficult to parse whether someone has a crazy family when you’re first dating them. If you’re living in a city away from both of your families, it might take a year or more to even meet your partners mom and dad. In early stages of a relationship, having a close relationship with your partner’s parents is not a huge priority, focusing more on whether you’re compatible with each other. It’s difficult enough to find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with that for many people, having a messed up family is not a dealbreaker. Doesn’t everyone have a messed up family? It’s considered uncouth to judge someone or not want them in your life simply because their mom has a personality disorder, their dad doesn’t know how to have a conversation, and their brother is in jail.