40+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (July 19, 2025)

I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that sometimes a tweet can change your life. Take, for example, «When God sings with his creations, will a turtle not be part of the choir?» changed lives across the world. Don’t believe me? Fine. Take a scroll through Twitter and tell me you don’t see the impact of that tweet. 

Small things can have a large impact. Anyone who has ever used eyelash glue could tell you that. Try to use more than a tiny bit of eyelash glue. You’ll be left with a gloopy mess, and you’ll be mired in shame. A little goes a long way. That’s why tweets don’t need to be long. The best tweets aren’t paragraphs, they’re just little niblets. Little dumplings of humor and information that we can consume in one bite. You don’t come up for air in between; you’re swallowing it whole like a vitamin. 

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