It hurts to grow up. It hurts even more to grow up online, where it feels like you’ve turned into a «chopped unc» before you could even figure out what a «chopped unc» is. (Quick refresher: chopped equals undesirable. Unc is short for uncle, which means old.) And nothing makes you feel older than a pop star you have never heard of before. 

Every time a new musician, actor, or influencer hits the scene, a flurry of tweets calls them «made up,» claiming they’ve never heard of them before, and therefore they must be a deep state psyop. As one tweet put it, «sombr» sounds like, I don’t know, an Uber-like gig economy app for ordering hearses.» Another lamented, «Who the h*** is ‘role model’ they’re making up white guys who have never been made up before.»