Weekends are reserved for being your best self.

Your «best self» is whatever feels right for you. You might want to bed rot and watch the same old television reruns all day while you DoorDash every meal. Others might prefer going for a morning run and downing a gross protein shake before the sun is fully in the sky. We’re all different renditions of one another, so whatever floats your boat!

The main idea? You must stay zen this weekend. Since the weather is still cold and frigid, we’re looking at another few weeks of being able to guiltlessly sit inside on our phones doomscrolling before the April sun tells us to go outside or else. I, for one, would like to milk the last few moments of shame-free laziness before it’s gone. Doomscrolling is pretty zen to me, sorry!

Picture this: You just finished your everything shower, and you put a fresh bunch of ice cubes in your reusable water bottle. Your Domino’s pizza order is at the door, and your mouth is salivating with anticipation. It’s Saturday night, fellas. It’s time to unwind and get the party started. The «party» is one person—you—and your television. This is heaven, this is zen. Meditate on these memes in between bites.