It’s not easy to be a stepparent, not least when the real parent is still there to compete with.

In an ideal world, blended families would always be a situation where every adult is able to treat all others with kindness and respect. Unfortunately, it is not very often that it ends up that way. The reason that a family dynamic has ended up like this in the first place is often not the nicest story, and it often comes with its fair share of bitterness, jealousy, and resentment. Being able to navigate this maturely is a skill not shared by everyone.

As a result, those who co-parent with exes who are in new relationships or marriages can bring up some unexpected controversies. If someone has an issue with somebody else, there is every chance that they will use the kids as some kind of proxy for their neuroses, leaving those on the receiving end feeling stuck. It is hard to be civil to a person whose main ambition seems to be to upset you, but it has to be attempted nonetheless. The endless competition will likely get you nowhere, and it will not be good for any children involved.