Can parents really expect their kids to live out their unfinished dreams?

This 18-year-old has spent years hearing about the sacrifices her mother made by giving up her career to stay home with her children. Now, those sacrifices are being used to justify controlling everything from college plans to marriage. After another argument over her graduation party, she finally tells her mom she can’t spend her life paying for a decision she never made.

I totally relate to this story because my mother was kind of like this. As the mom mentioned, mine decided to quit her job when I was around nine years old and spent the rest of her career at home with my sisters and me. Although this was great for us and we had the best childhood ever, I do see that my mom turned out to be controlling and demanding as well: as if she was expecting us to repay her for her sacrifice. 

When we got older and we spent more time outside the house, she would call and set extreme curfews, crazy rules, and overall became more and more strict. I remember talking to my sister and explaining that this was getting out of hand, and that we needed to have a conversation with Mom to figure this out. 

To my surprise, she apologized and revealed that everything was from love: since she spent so much time with us, she was nervous about what her future would look like when we were older and living by ourselves. We ended up fixing the issue, finding common ground, and showing our mother gratitude for the time spent.

I’m not saying that the OP should do the same with her mother. I’m not sure of the details of her childhood and why her mother is acting like this. But I’m bringing my own story so we can see the other perspective and understand that behind so many rules and extreme measures, there’s a loving mother who is afraid of being alone and getting stuck behind their kids’ lives. Let us know in the comments what your opinion on this case is!