Before your first scheduled meeting on Monday, you have already attended unofficial ones. The one at 6:30 a.m. The discussion with your alarm, where you proposed another 5 minutes of sleep. Then the negotiation with the closet, followed by an emergency session with the coffee machine. All of them could have been emails. 

Your first task is deciding how much of your weekend to disclose when a coworker asks what you got up to. You say «pretty quiet». Someone will say they went hiking, and it will make you consider describing your walk to the delivery driver’s car as outdoor time. 

I do enjoy the little updates from coworkers. You might barely know a coworker outside the office, but you can be deeply invested in whether their dog has forgiven them for adopting a second dog. You could also walk past a colleague’s husband without recognizing him, but you know exactly what he did wrong at Home Depot on Saturday. By Monday Morning, you have opinions about a man you have never met. 

After a while, you start checking in on these stories without even thinking about it. You remember someone has an apartment inspection on Friday, so you ask how it went. You can also get the details mixed up and congratulate the person whose car broke down. Now you have to explain why you are smiling about their terrible weekend.

I have questions about the office donuts too. We are all adults. We want to have breakfast. Or to have a mid-morning snack. I mean, we see a box of donuts and we all want one. Yet somebody has to announce that they are taking a donut before the rest of the people feel comfortable approaching. I’d be the one who makes that sacrifice for the team. After that, it takes just five seconds for the good ones to disappear.

So before the conversation returns to everybody’s work responsibilities, scroll through these work memes. And share one with the coworker who knows your weekend involved doing absolutely nothing and respects you for it. Oh, and ask about the dog. That situation deserves a follow-up.