Is she wrong for refusing to cancel her plans after her sister volunteered her as a babysitter?

When it comes to family, the boundary between «personal time» and being there for others often vanishes. Some members would assume that for the sake of family, we should drop everything and go to help. And I’m not against that, but only if the situation is that serious or if it’s an emergency, not for a Saturday night babysitting shift.

So I agree with the woman here. She is usually the one who looks after her niece when her sister has some other commitments, and she loves it, since she has the best relationship with the 6-year-old girl. But in this situation, the sister thought that the woman wouldn’t mind watching her and made reservations for a night out with her husband, considering she would be available. So, essentially, she didn’t ask her.

The woman wasn’t available that night: she had plans made with her friends, and she was not going to cancel them because nobody asked her to babysit; they assumed she would be available. And that’s the problem when it comes to family, and this is when that boundary is erased. Now, the sister is angry that she won’t be the one babysitting and even made the kid feel sad about it, because she had promised the aunt was going to spend some time with her.

But It’s not the woman’s problem. She wasn’t asked, and she has the right to refuse and to stick with the original plans she had. She doesn’t deserve the cold attitude from her sister or the anger from the little girl, who was expecting her that night. That’s why it is important to respect others’ boundaries, no matter if we are talking about family.