Thoughts on the difference between being a homebody and being very selective

I’ve been calling myself a homebody for a little over a year now. I thought something had changed with age, and I’d never go back to my old, sociable self. That is partially true: I will likely never go back to going out wherever the wind takes me, but contrary to popular belief, I still like going out, just not everywhere.

Invitations sound more appealing to me in theory than in real life, and I’ve totally become the person who cancels plans at the last minute just to stay in their pajamas. Somewhere along the way, I started believing that’s who I was.

Then, last Sunday came, and I went to the movies.

This radical shift in my personality was heavily influenced by the fact that I moved to another country and I know very few people here, so my circle became very small, and my opportunities to go out decreased a bunch. Last Sunday I went to the movies with a guy I met through Instagram, and going out started to sound more appealing again.

This has happened only two times since I emigrated, so that’s why I appreciate it so much. I met a lot of people, but I only really clicked with two, and that is like falling in love: you feel it, or you don’t.

I had no expectations for this outing, but the minute we got together, everything flowed so beautifully that I just knew I had met a kindred spirit. We didn’t just go to see any movie, though. We went to an old movie theater that opened in 1910 to see Coppola’s Dracula.

The theater had red velvet seats and carpets, and it was simply beautiful. The movie was surprisingly amazing, and it did the book justice. We made jokes constantly, and we even got shushed by a person in front of us; it was hilarious. It was beautiful to feel like the interaction wasn’t forced, and I could have fun and be understood by someone like I hadn’t felt in so long.

Walking home that night, I realized that it wasn’t that I had become a homebody out of nowhere; it was just that I didn’t have anyone to go out with who shared a passion for the same stuff I did.

There is a difference between not wanting to go out and not wanting to go out to a pub where you hate the music. I want to do things that interest me, and it turns out I don’t have the most popular interests, and some people would consider my Sunday plan to be really boring, when for me it was the best date ever.

So I decided I’m going to keep being selective about who I want to go out with, and I’m going to focus my energy on deepening the bond with people who love the same stuff I do, and make the world outside sound more exciting for me.

Cheers for the selective homebodies then!