Dating apps make everybody jaded, from the most attractive people on the planet to the hopeless cases. We all know a couple who met on Hinge and are getting married next Spring, but we have no idea how they got from step 1 to step marriage. Were they using a different Hinge than the one you and I use?

I like to think I’d succeed on dating apps if I used them consistently. I tend to get overwhelmed and abandon them altogether, hoping that the real world will be less demoralizing than an endless stream of introducing myself to strangers, to no avail. But then again, we also all know that person who has been on over 100 first dates and has yet to have one serious relationship come from it. Sometimes, the apps aren’t the problem. Sometimes you need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and realize that the problem is you.