If you know, you know, and if you don’t… consider yourself lucky.

There’s a very specific kind of delusion that kicks in right before you self tan. You convince yourself your hands won’t betray you this time, that your elbows will somehow behave, that this is the product that’s finally going to give effortless glow instead of patchy chaos. And for a few hours, while it’s developing, you’re just walking around carefully, avoiding water, avoiding fabric, avoiding any sudden movement that could ruin everything, fully committed to the process, even though deep down you know it could go either way.