Small discoveries during early dating can be harmless, like learning that someone doesn’t like your favorite movie or your favorite music artists. Okay, you can handle that. But other details are more difficult to overlook because they reveal a difference in values. 

That is the case of one young man who had been dating his boyfriend for a few months when, during an ordinary dinner, he casually mentioned he cheated in multiplayer video games. He admitted he used aimbots and wallhacks while laughing, but the 20-year-old gamer found it unacceptable. In fact, it was a deal-breaker for him. 

He couldn’t stand that his boyfriend ruined multiplayer games for everyone else, to the point that he felt especially bothered by his gaming style. His point was that some people want to relax after work and play video games, and people who cheat only ruin the gaming experience. He is actually right, but was it so serious that he decided not to continue seeing each other? Apparently, it was. 

The rest of the evening became uncomfortable because ending a new relationship over video game cheats can sound a little too much. But the disagreement wasn’t about a gaming style; it was about enjoying gaining an unfair advantage over other players while making the experience worse for them, AND finding that funny. It may sound like an irrelevant difference, but choosing to cheat actually reveals something about his character. It reveals something about how he sees fairness and empathy, and if one person sees harmless entertainment while the other sees intentional selfishness, then this difference exposed an incompatibility early.