Being the oldest sibling is a full-time job, especially when the youngest gets a promotion to golden child without ever clocking in. This family/s lore goes like this: brother smashes his own game console in a fit of digital rage, invents a story where you materialize out of nowhere just to destroy his stuff, and mom laps it right up before even checking the facts. Bonus points for the melodrama, she threatens to call the cops unless you cough up repayment, then delivers the hot take on Facebook so extended family can join in with their pitchforks.

Turns out, the scapegoat label comes off easier when receipts are involved. Not only were you out of state with your boyfriend’s family, dad’s guitar solo on video accidentally catches the exact moment brother goes berserk, completely ruining his story.